sad

Have you guys ever feel lonely? Even though you are usually alone. Sometimes i just don't know who to turn in when i having problem. Sometimes i feel that no one cares. And i don't think that everyone would notice me. Anyway who am i right? Just a normal person , nothing special about , i am boring person and like to make things negative. I'm too much over think but that the only thing i can do. I wish people could like me the way i am not the way they want. I just stress because i feel like i am nowhere to stand at. Sometimes i feel useless when i can't help my friend in need, or not in their side when they are down , or be there for my siblings or make my parents proud or happy about me. Hais   i'll never good enough to people.I just don't understand myself. I confused , too much things that i kept, hurts that can't be heal. It just a scar and it keep haunt me. I'm afraid to make a decision, i afraid i will regret and disappointed. Why I'm not pretty like my sister, why i'm not smart like my brother , why everyone are putting much hope on me? I didn't ask to be like this. I accept with what God had created me. Why you make me feel so hopeless? Nothing could describe my feeling right now. Am i so hard to be understand? YOU.You remember you say you will be there? Do you remember all the positive thing? Do you remember all our fucking memories? Why do you leave? Because of your fucking selfishness. You put the blame on me. You make me look as if i'm the fault. I am trying to be patient but thanks not anymore. Maybe I'm just stupid to believe you , maybe i shouldn't put the hopes or maybe you shouldn't make a promise with me. SO its just ME. Maybe it just me who ego,selfish , bored person or whatever shit. Yeah go on. People change. People come and go. I just need to release my tension. Sometimes i thought i'm crazy. Over think without a reason and then i will hate all the  people who hurt me when i already fucking say its ok learn from mistakes. But i will like curse the people. Hais whats wrong with me. I need my siblings badly. Its so bored here. Can i cry? Please i have enough :'(.

Achieve

Next question: What do you want to achieve in life?
I guess we have many things to be achieve a lot of things we are dreaming of. But for myself I wanted to be a director or songwriter or anything that involve with entertainment . Because that is my passion. Most importantly I want to make my family proud of me. But yeah I need to do it now and start hardworking. In the same time I need to be awake with the trend. So that I am updated and from there I know what my viewer one. Doing more observation even though I took a course that doesn't involved entertainment but with the help of my info communication technology cloud computing course it will help me a lot in the future. So guys don't ever give up,  you may think I will never make dreams real. But if we don't stop learning and be positive God's will , we can make it! :)

Food And Kiss

There is question why i like food? You gotta be kidding me if you don't like food. I mean you need to survive. Anyway for myself, food make me happy and my bad day become a great one. I don't why even though its weird but i find food and drink is something that easily to cheer me  up . Maybe that is how i roll it. But of course need to be healthy and enough calories :) But if you a kind of person who don't care then just let it be. Because i don't care about FATS,CALORIES or whatever shit. Because that is life hehe. So high-5 guys! 1 , 2 , 3 HIGH-5 ORANGE!!!!. 2ND QUESTION from my friend is my first kiss. OK this is awkward HAHAHA. Nah uhhhhhh ok goodnight! HHAHAHA ok sorry my friend at least i post it right? okay guys any question free feel to ask :) Goodnight my lovely people from ORANGE

1) How do you find life?

So how do i find life? 17 years i live in earth, a lot of up and downs i have been facing. A lot of things i have observed . And a lot of learning points . I was hospitalized when i was 7 years old, primary one. About 5-6 months? About two operation i have gone through. And i had been warded in A1 class. Is a ward that only had one patient. I still remember my mum accompany me. Dad is working, my bro serving NS, my 1st elder sis is gone and third sis still in sec schools. At that point of time, Singapore is having SARS. Only two visitor is allowed. I can still remember seeing my sis crying while me laying with a lot of tubes or wire is going through, With my oxygen mask. I will always say to my mom "Orang da nak mati mak , orang nak mati" means i want to die. I just cant take the suffer and at that point i nearly give up. But then God give me life again. My bill cost around $20+++ . Thank to God i recovered :). My primary school life is not that great. I am a shy person. People around me don't want to friend with me. And yeah i get bullied. 5 years in that school i'm glad that its over. In sec school that is where i try to be more social and communicate  with people and that i found that school is FUN. But yeah shits happen. Okay guess it enough for my past. I'm glad everything has over. Yes i do regrets with my own self. But what for? Everything had happen.No use we think about it again , life needs to move on. I am not a positive person but i'm trying to be. But to be honest i am a kind of person who over think. Think too much and imagine that would  not happen. Actually life is interesting with challenges , because you will learn. Its better to make a mistakes or regrets at least it make you become a better person. No matter bullshit people give you in life , be patience. Don't let the bullshit to control you and make you a worst person. From my opinion , the key of life is to be yourself, learn , be strong and happy , respect people and lastly love all the people, nature , God and yourself :)

Greetings

Hello everyone! Hows your weekend? Fun? Hopefully it is. So yeah Ramadan is coming! I really look forward on it. Especially break fast together with my beloved family and maybe friends? But most importantly is my family because they are busy with work and all stuff so its like rare to have dinner together. For your guys information , i am youngest in my family and all my siblings are married. Okay it will be bored for me to tell you guys about my family hehe xD okay stay tuned for me to answer the question ^^

Whats up?

Sometime in life we already know the reason why we are here. But still people are looking for the answer just to sure for the reason. Well I'm not a perfect person, and nobody is perfect. We all have the weakness. People are insecure when they are perfectly well. Have you ever appreciate what have you got? Thank to the god for giving you to listen , to see the world , to touch and to walk, to smell and to have a taste bud and lastly mouth for you to talk . Imagine one day , God took back all the things. Are you insecure? Insecure because people may harm you , people will find you more weird or whatever bad thing shit they will talk about. Are you still insecure now? Why you need to be beautiful for others when you are already beautiful in yourself? Why you need to change for others when you are perfectly fine with yourself? Why you need to listen to others when you have a brain to decide, when you can already understand which one is right and wrong? Well sometimes in life there is reason why God created us this way . Because imperfection is the real happiness when we accept each other flaws. Its not wrong if you find others more pretty or whatever shit but yeah its wrong when you blame the God or complain to others why are you born this way. Look yourself at mirror or even just a reflection and believe "Yes, I'm beautiful with my own way"  Now start to live and accept all the things.You never know what thing that God had plan for you . Is you to decide which path you want :)

Aisha_orange

Introduction

So hello guys. I Aisha just called me orange. Don't ask me why but yeah it have own story behind it.  I'm still young , a Malay girl live in Singapore. Currently still studying. Actually I do have blog but I just deleted because it full of shit and I guess I should just erased the memories. Yeah so lets start a fresh one! :) Stay tuned. And yeah excuse myself if I wrote a bad English haha. I will just follow my mood what kind of language I will used alright