sad

Have you guys ever feel lonely? Even though you are usually alone. Sometimes i just don't know who to turn in when i having problem. Sometimes i feel that no one cares. And i don't think that everyone would notice me. Anyway who am i right? Just a normal person , nothing special about , i am boring person and like to make things negative. I'm too much over think but that the only thing i can do. I wish people could like me the way i am not the way they want. I just stress because i feel like i am nowhere to stand at. Sometimes i feel useless when i can't help my friend in need, or not in their side when they are down , or be there for my siblings or make my parents proud or happy about me. Hais   i'll never good enough to people.I just don't understand myself. I confused , too much things that i kept, hurts that can't be heal. It just a scar and it keep haunt me. I'm afraid to make a decision, i afraid i will regret and disappointed. Why I'm not pretty like my sister, why i'm not smart like my brother , why everyone are putting much hope on me? I didn't ask to be like this. I accept with what God had created me. Why you make me feel so hopeless? Nothing could describe my feeling right now. Am i so hard to be understand? YOU.You remember you say you will be there? Do you remember all the positive thing? Do you remember all our fucking memories? Why do you leave? Because of your fucking selfishness. You put the blame on me. You make me look as if i'm the fault. I am trying to be patient but thanks not anymore. Maybe I'm just stupid to believe you , maybe i shouldn't put the hopes or maybe you shouldn't make a promise with me. SO its just ME. Maybe it just me who ego,selfish , bored person or whatever shit. Yeah go on. People change. People come and go. I just need to release my tension. Sometimes i thought i'm crazy. Over think without a reason and then i will hate all the  people who hurt me when i already fucking say its ok learn from mistakes. But i will like curse the people. Hais whats wrong with me. I need my siblings badly. Its so bored here. Can i cry? Please i have enough :'(.